What Women Look For in Men - A Guide to Self-Improvment 2011

Ah the age old question - "what do women look for in men?"

Well, I'm not here to go over all those things, but I do want to touch on some on the basic things that you have control over. Let's start with appearance.

Now as I have mentioned in the past - even unattractive guys can score with hot girls. The way you carry yourself and your attitude in general plays a big enough role in the game of attraction that looks are not the only thing that matters.

However girls like guys that take care of themselves. They notice a lot of things that guys do not pay a lot of attention to. They look at what you are wearing, your shoes, your belt, your hairstyle etc. They may not make their judgment based only on that - in fact I know they don't - but if it still enters their mind does it not make sense to make an effort in those categories?

It amazes me how many guys come to me asking me for advice on approaching girls or on different areas of seduction when they have not even covered some of the most basic areas. I hate to sound harsh, but many of the guys that come to me look sloppy, dirty and completely out of touch with fashion.

You do not need to be decked out in brand new Armani suits or the latest fashion trends. But you do need to have a sense of style. There are plenty of websites that offer fashion advice for men. / and we are two options that have some useful info.

Know the basics. What is in or out? What colors work together? And yes, some of this stuff costs money. But you don't have to spend a fortune. Check out ebay for some heavily discounted clothing. There are all the brand names you can buy (many are fake - but look identical) to help your look.

Also look for sales. They aren't hard to find. Buy a great pair of shoes. Buy a wicked belt. And if you are not able to afford all this stuff, build your wardrobe gradually. In the meantime make sure you look coordinated.

Continual improvement. That is what I am hoping you strive for. And it extends to more areas than just what you wear.

Go to a fancy salon and ask what is in style when it comes to hair. They know what they are doing and can choose something to go with your hair texture and type that will energize your look.

I always advocate going to the gym. I realize not everyone is a fan of this idea. Many people are too busy. Many people don't have the facilities. Most people are just too lazy.

But exercise makes a HUGE difference. laIt motivates you like you wouldn't believe and gives you a brand new confidence in yourself. This can do wonders with thedies. Not to mention losing a few pounds and developing a fit physique never hurts either.

All of these things are easy to do. I always look at ways of improving little things about my appearance. My bathroom is full of skin and hair products. My closet is full of clothes. Some guys think that makes them less of a man. I see that as just an excuse. If it helps you get more GIRLS, how are you less of a man?

The idea of continual improvement extends to much more than your appearance. I will touch on that in another article. For now I will leave you with a list of small things you can do to make sure you are looking your best. I don't expect you to do everything on this list right away, but hopefully you see the value in always looking for ways to improve in that category. Here you go:

6 Alternate Uses for Your Freezer

Eliminate unpopped popcorn

Don't you just hate the kernels of popcorn that are left at the bottom of the bowl? Eliminate the popcorn duds by keeping your unpopped supply in the freezer.

Remove wax from candlesticks

Grandma's heirloom silver candlesticks will get a new life if you place them in the freezer and then pick off the accumulated wax drippings. But don't do this if your candlesticks are made from more than one type of metal. The metals can expand and contract at different rates and damage the candlesticks.

Extend candle life

Place candles in the freezer for at least two hours before burning. They will last longer.

Unstick photos

Picture this: Water spills on a batch of photographs, causing them to stick together. If you pull them apart, your pictures will be ruined. Don't be so hasty. Stick them in the freezer for about 20 minutes. Then use a butter knife to gingerly separate the photos. If they don't come free, place them back in the freezer. This works for envelopes and stamps too.

Clean a pot

Your favorite pot has been left on the stove too long, and now you've got a burned-on mess to clean up. Place the pot in the freezer for a couple of hours. When the burned food becomes frozen, it will be easier to remove.

Remove odors

Got a musty-smelling book or a plastic container with a fish odor? Place them in the freezer overnight. By morning they'll be fresh again. This works with almost any other small item that has a bad smell you want to get rid of.

PLUS:

Easy Way Of Improving Strength And Fitness

Using free weights is effective way of improving strength and fitness. Lifting weights improves fitness while it burns calories, increase muscle size, strength, power, and endurance, and increases bone density. It also increases bone density and improves quality of life for many older adults. Instruction is necessary if you have never used free weights before, or are not that familiar with the use of free weights. Technique, and safety are important considerations.

Unlike weight machines, free weights don’t restrict movement. This is great for building strength, but it also increases the risk of injury. Safety precautions include having a good grip, maintain a stable position sitting or standing, use good technique or form, and getting good instruction from an exercise professional. Most accidents occur by falling weights that are not secure or fall out of a person’s hand, so pay particular attention to picking up and replacing free weights.

Buying Free Weights

Durability – Consider your exercise motivation for the quality and durability of the weights you are purchasing. If you plan to use the weights a lot, buy a high quality and durable product. Generally speaking, free weights are rather durable.

Assembly – Consider the time and convenience of buying weights that are set at a specific weight, or to purchase weights that can be changed according to your strength. For a set weight of dumbbells, no assembly is required.

Storage – Ensure you have adequate space to safely store the weights, depending on how many or how much weight you are going to purchase. Free weights can be stored on the floor, or on specialized racks.

Maintenance – Consider the maintenance requirements. Chrome weights require higher maintenance than metal, concrete, or foam-covered weights.

Using Free Weights

Free weights can develop muscle-fitness depending on how you use them.

Muscle Strength: 5-8 reps, 1-3 sets.

Muscle Endurance: 15-20 reps, 1-3 sets.

Muscle Power: 3-5 reps, 1-3 sets.

Rep is short for repetition. This means how many times you lift the weight. Set means a group of repetitions. Rest approximately one to two minutes between sets of each exercise, or long enough to catch your breath.

Muscle Groups to Train

Exercising the major muscle groups is important for developing fitness.

Upper body: front and back of arms, shoulders, chest, and upper back.

Torso: abdominals, sides of torso (obliques), and lower back.

Legs: front and back of thighs, calfs, and buttocks.

Exercises to Do

Upper body: Bicep curls, tricep extension, shoulder press, bench press, and bent-over row.

Torso: Abdominal curls (hands across chest), “Bird-Dog” (on hands and knees, lift opposite arm and leg 5 – 10 reps, then opposite arm/leg), and side-plank.

Legs: Squats or Lunges, and heel raises.

Technique is important!

Learn the proper technique for each exercise before proceeding.

Exercise both sides of the body. Whatever you exercise on the front of the body, proceed with the corresponding exercise for the back of the body.

Breathe! Exhale when the exercise is the hardest, and inhale when the exercise is the easiest.

Move your joints through a full range of motion when performing each exercise.

Move in a controlled manner. Do not let momentum move the weight.

Posture

Maintain a straight spine when performing all exercises.

Do not hyper-extend your spine.

When picking weights up from the floor (or putting them down), use your legs, not your back.

Using a spotter

When lifting very heavy weights, you should use a spotter in case the weights become too much for you to handle. A spotter can offer feedback about your technique, and give you a margin of safety to avoid injury.

Important Points to Remember

Before you buy: Consider the space you have in which to safely engage in a weight training program.

When you buy: Consider your exercise motivation in terms of the cost of the weights. Also consider the size of the handles as they fit in your hand.

Excellent for fitness: Using free weights is an excellent way to improve your fitness. You can increase the rate at which you burn calories, increase your muscle strength and size, and increase the strength of your bones. Increased strength through weight training can also improve the quality of life for older adults.

Your abilities: Consider your level of fitness before you purchase your weights. Be careful not to buy weights that are too heavy (or too light).

Make it a habit: Since you are considering buying exercise equipment, structure your lifestyle to make time to exercise and it will eventually become a life-long habit.

Holiday Money Saving Tips for Your Family

While families benefit from saving money all year, the holiday's are a time when saving money can mean much more to a family as spending less money means less stress on parents. And all parents know, the less stressed we are, the more fun our family is going to have. Here are useful holiday tips that will help you stress-less and enjoy more:

Be prepared for the holiday season. Set aside some time and use last year's amount spent to organize a current budget for all that you would like to do during the holidays. Include gift giving and your budgeted amount for each person you wish to give to. Remember to include the little gifts you give to teachers and for Pollyanna gift giving. Once you have your budget, You can see the areas where you may be able to save some money.

Talk with your extended family. Communication can go a long way when you need to tighten your belts. If you are finding yourself in a crunch this holiday season, talk to your family about ways that you can save some money like bringing down the limit amount you spend on gifts - or cutting store bought gifts out altogether.

6 Extreme Saving Tips You Can Use Now

When I started interviewing people for my book Generation Earn, I was shocked by some of the creative techniques people came up with to save money. The unifying theme was that people cut costs in ways that made their lives better, not worse. Instead of denying themselves splurges like new jeans or a new car, they learned how to cook their own food that tasted much better than anything served at a restaurant, or perfected their at-home tea and coffee brewing techniques.

Here are six ways you can start saving hundreds of dollars a month, while also improving your quality of life.

Don’t spend more than $30 on any item of clothing. Stores such as H&M, Forever 21, and Old Navy make it easy to buy cheap, stylish clothing. While you’ll probably need to make some exceptions, such as for a winter jacket, the vast majority of your wardrobe can be purchased on the cheap. Yoga studio owner Kimberly Wilson, who dresses in a way that would impress even Rachel Zoe, applies this technique so she can focus her money on growing her business instead. Wilson, who’s in her mid-30s and lives in Washington, DC, says she’d rather indulge in simple, daily pleasures than expensive shoes or jewelry. Estimated savings: $200 a month or more.

Party at home. Game nights and girls’ nights in have soared in popularity recently, which is no surprise given that a night out on the town means paying $8 or more for drinks and $50 or more when you include cab rides, cover charges, and meals. Gregory Go, 33, co-founder of Wisebread.com, invites people over for potlucks and game nights, which means he gets to spend time with friends for a fraction of the cost of a night out. As an added bonus, he tends to clean out his friends’ wallets in poker games. Estimated savings: $100 a month and up.

Give love coupons instead of gifts. As you plan your holiday shopping, consider this: Giving the gift of your time in the form of a coupon to take your mom to a museum, or out for tea, can be far more meaningful than buying her a cashmere sweater. Tim Kasser, professor of psychology at Knox College in western Illinois and father of two young children, encourages his family to give each other coupons for experiences, such as favorite meals or back rubs, rather than purchased gifts. For his sons’ birthdays, Tim typically gives them a special day with him, such as a trip to the local water park. Estimated savings: $25 a month or more.

Substitute fancy dinners with cheap date nights. Dining by candlelight at the most exclusive restaurant in town might seem romantic, but the bill can put a damper on those loving feelings. Instead, try these ideas, suggested by Alpha Consumer readers: Browse a bookstore. Sketch portraits of each other. Take dance lessons. Have a picnic. Go to a lecture or performance at your local college. Watch a model rocket launch. Estimated savings: $200 a month and up.

Turn your freezer into your very own “fast-food restaurant.” Kate Deriso, 39, a holistic health counselor in Sterling, Virginia, spends no more than $150 a week on her entire food budget for her husband and herself. They make their own breakfasts, lunches, and dinners and rarely eat out, because they’ve discovered they can make better meals themselves. She grows her own alfalfa sprouts to spruce up sandwiches and cooks one-pot dishes such as her favorite chicken and olive dish. She calls her freezer, which is stacked full of ready-to-eat leftovers, her “fast-food restaurant.” Estimated savings: $400 a month and up.

Eat before you go to restaurants. Ben, a thirty-something lawyer in Washington, DC, who works for a nonprofit and earns around $52,000 a year, buys a six-pack of bagels and a box of tea each week and skips the coffee shop. He also snacks on peanut butter and banana sandwiches before meeting up with friends at night so he can bypass the pricey entrees at restaurants, opting for cheaper appetizers instead. Estimated savings: $100 a month or more.

With these techniques, you’ll have fun hosting parties, holding cheap date nights, and inventing new meals and gift coupons, while putting a lot more money in the bank. Total Savings: At least $1,000 a month.

Happiness for All

Happiness: Happiness is a wonderful emotion. Happiness is a soul, dancing with joy. When you feel happy, you achieve more. Here are some wise words about happiness.

There are people who sometimes experience a "low" for no reason whatsoever. I can buy that, provided we promise ourselves to get happy for no reason too. Here are some quotations that I would describe as "happy quotes."

Maya Angelou

A bird doesn't sing because it has an answer, it sings because it has a song.

William Arthur Ward

A cloudy day is no match for a sunny disposition.

Charlie Chaplin

A day without laughter is a day wasted.

Hugh Downs

A happy person is not a person in a certain set of circumstances, but rather a person with a certain set of attitudes.

Mother Teresa

A joyful heart is the inevitable result of a heart burning with love.

Washington Irving

A kind heart is a fountain of gladness, making everything in its vicinity freshen into smiles.

Victor Borge

A laugh is the shortest distance between two people.

William Shakespeare

A light heart lives long.

Alexander Solzhenitsyn

A man is happy so long as he chooses to be happy.

Unknown Author

A smile is a curved line that sets things straight.

10 fascinating flirting facts

So you’ve mastered the art of eye contact and can beckon a romantic prospect with just a few coy glances… but do you really know all there is to know about the fine art of flirting? Just to make sure you’re up to speed, we culled some very surprising information that you can use to your advantage. Read on for some juicy tidbits that may up your meet-cute quotient in no time.
1. Flirting is good for you. Studies show that people who flirt have higher white blood-cell counts, which boost both immunity and health.

2. Think batting your eyelashes is enough? Wrong! All told, scientists say there are 52 “flirting signals” used by humans. Of these, the hair-flip technique is the most common.


3. In some places, flirting is illegal. In Little Rock, AR, an antiquated law is still on the books warning that engaging in playful banter may result in a 30-day jail term. In New York City, another outdated law mandates that men may be fined $25 for gazing lasciviously at a female; a second conviction stipulates the offender wear a pair of blinders whenever he goes out for a walk.

4. Why wait for Friday? Lots of people get their flirt on during their morning commute. A full 62 percent of drivers have flirted with someone in a different vehicle while on the go, and 31 percent of those flirtations, it turns out, resulted in a date.

5. Flirting need not occur face to face. According to the Pew Research Center, 40 percent of people who look for love online say they can easily flirt with someone via email or IM.


6. In the Victorian era, fans were the ultimate playful props that could communicate all sorts of messages. A fan placed near the heart meant “You have won my love.” A half-opened fan pressed to the lips was an invitation, saying, “You may kiss me.” Hiding the eyes behind an open fan meant “I love you,” while opening and closing the fan several times was a chastisement, implying, “You are cruel.” Given how much a fan could come in handy, it’s a shame they ever invented air conditioning.


7. These days, cell phones do the flirting for you. In one survey, half of all mobile phone users have texted flirty messages to keep things interesting while separated from their amour.

8. Watch out; you can overdo it. According to the Social Issues Research Centre, the most common mistake people make when flirting is maintaining too much eye contact.

9. Sometimes, flirty gestures aren’t what they seem to be. Research has shown that men tend to routinely mistake friendly behavior for flirting.


10. Flirting is universal. A woman living in New York City and one in rural Cambodia may not have much in common, but when it comes to attracting a little attention, they both employ the very same move: smiling, arching their eyebrows, then averting their gaze and giggling. Animals flirt, too: birds, reptiles, and even fish have their own way of making romantic advances. The moral of the story: If the simple sea bass can act cute in order to further a romantic agenda, you can, too — so give it a go!

10 fascinating flirting facts

So you’ve mastered the art of eye contact and can beckon a romantic prospect with just a few coy glances… but do you really know all there is to know about the fine art of flirting? Just to make sure you’re up to speed, we culled some very surprising information that you can use to your advantage. Read on for some juicy tidbits that may up your meet-cute quotient in no time.
1. Flirting is good for you. Studies show that people who flirt have higher white blood-cell counts, which boost both immunity and health.

2. Think batting your eyelashes is enough? Wrong! All told, scientists say there are 52 “flirting signals” used by humans. Of these, the hair-flip technique is the most common.


3. In some places, flirting is illegal. In Little Rock, AR, an antiquated law is still on the books warning that engaging in playful banter may result in a 30-day jail term. In New York City, another outdated law mandates that men may be fined $25 for gazing lasciviously at a female; a second conviction stipulates the offender wear a pair of blinders whenever he goes out for a walk.

4. Why wait for Friday? Lots of people get their flirt on during their morning commute. A full 62 percent of drivers have flirted with someone in a different vehicle while on the go, and 31 percent of those flirtations, it turns out, resulted in a date.

5. Flirting need not occur face to face. According to the Pew Research Center, 40 percent of people who look for love online say they can easily flirt with someone via email or IM.


6. In the Victorian era, fans were the ultimate playful props that could communicate all sorts of messages. A fan placed near the heart meant “You have won my love.” A half-opened fan pressed to the lips was an invitation, saying, “You may kiss me.” Hiding the eyes behind an open fan meant “I love you,” while opening and closing the fan several times was a chastisement, implying, “You are cruel.” Given how much a fan could come in handy, it’s a shame they ever invented air conditioning.


7. These days, cell phones do the flirting for you. In one survey, half of all mobile phone users have texted flirty messages to keep things interesting while separated from their amour.

8. Watch out; you can overdo it. According to the Social Issues Research Centre, the most common mistake people make when flirting is maintaining too much eye contact.

9. Sometimes, flirty gestures aren’t what they seem to be. Research has shown that men tend to routinely mistake friendly behavior for flirting.


10. Flirting is universal. A woman living in New York City and one in rural Cambodia may not have much in common, but when it comes to attracting a little attention, they both employ the very same move: smiling, arching their eyebrows, then averting their gaze and giggling. Animals flirt, too: birds, reptiles, and even fish have their own way of making romantic advances. The moral of the story: If the simple sea bass can act cute in order to further a romantic agenda, you can, too — so give it a go!

Money Saving Tips

When you have a teen who is active in clubs, sports and other school activities, you soon realize that they spend more of their after school time at school then at home.

Finding independence in a structured setting like this is good, keeps your teen involved with their peers and safe. But it can cost you if your teen is hitting the vending machine everyday to get a snack.
While its perfectly fine that they are hungry, anyone would be, snacks can cost up to $2.00 from a vending machine! Considering you can get the same bag of chips at the grocery store for fifty cents a-piece when you purchase a variety pack, the convenience cost of the vending machine is too much.

One tip that I learned the hard way: Get the snacks your teen really wants. Otherwise, they will sit in your cabinet untouched.

Money Saving Tips

When you have a teen who is active in clubs, sports and other school activities, you soon realize that they spend more of their after school time at school then at home.

Finding independence in a structured setting like this is good, keeps your teen involved with their peers and safe. But it can cost you if your teen is hitting the vending machine everyday to get a snack.
While its perfectly fine that they are hungry, anyone would be, snacks can cost up to $2.00 from a vending machine! Considering you can get the same bag of chips at the grocery store for fifty cents a-piece when you purchase a variety pack, the convenience cost of the vending machine is too much.

One tip that I learned the hard way: Get the snacks your teen really wants. Otherwise, they will sit in your cabinet untouched.

When your Beloved Love Someone Else!

READER'S QUESTION

Hey Doc,

I’m an engineer for an aerospace company. I met Monica at a software convention. Our first date was lunch; I kept things light and used some wacky humor. I waited 10 days before calling her again and kept the call to 10 minutes. She wanted to e-mail back and forth “to get to know each other better,” but I laughed that off and said “E-mail is for Star Trek dorks,” which she got a kick out of. I called again a week later and invited her on another date. The date went well: I acted like a gentleman, was well-dressed, and we got to know each other more. She took me golfing (I hate golf but played along), and I pretty much determined that Monica’s character and personality were top-notch and that she was a Flexible Giver.

IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE ELSE

Before I drove back home, she confessed that she hadn’t met anyone like me, but that she had a problem that I ought to know about. I sat and listened, but didn’t encourage any breakdowns. She said that she had dated a man, Tom, four years earlier and that she had fallen deeply in love with him, but he had chosen to marry another woman. Then she went on to confess that she didn’t think she could truly love someone else the same way as Tom ever again.

She said she thought that I was irresistibly attractive and “perfect,” but that Tom was somehow “imprinted” on her brain and that she didn’t know how to get rid of the memory, even after therapy. By the way, Monica is no nutcase. She graduated from a top college and comes from a good family.

PLAYING IT COOL

My response was to give her a hug, tell her it was OK and that we were just getting to know each other casually anyway, which was true. Over the next year, we spent more time developing a romantic relationship of sorts, though we never called it that. In fact, we never called it anything, and never talked about it. Maybe I handled this wrong, but there was a strong attraction between us, and I wanted to keep things casual and avoid the subject of Tom and see if she could get over him. Within eight months, her Interest Level seemed to skyrocket as we spent time together, particularly when she found out that I was dating other women (since we never had any commitment).

My problem now is that I want to marry this girl (although I’ve followed your advice and not blabbed anything about loving her desperately), and I also know that she wants to marry me. But I need to know her current feelings about Tom before plunging in. I fear that bringing him up again won’t lead anywhere good. At the same time, I can’t marry Monica without knowing I’m No. 1 in her life. To further complicate matters, what if someday Tom gets divorced and tries to get Monica back?

AM I IN TOO DEEP?

Tell me, where do I go from here? Did I handle this right, or should I have run in the other direction when the subject of Tom came up in the early stages? This girl’s a keeper, but not if she can’t forget the other guy.

DOC LOVE'S RESPONSE

Hi Delmar,

First of all, it’s great that you passed on Monica’s invitation to sit there e-mailing each other. Like my cousin Sal “The Fish” Love says: “Playing with a computer when it comes to women is a big waste of time.” Plus, it’s an anti-challenge. Unfortunately, that’s the only thing you did right.

Now let me just get this straight before we go any further. After two dates, you’re swooning over a woman’s character? Dude, you know nothing whatsoever about this woman after two dates. Like my cousin Fast Eddie Love from East L.A. says: “After spending about seven hours with a babe you have her all figured out? No way, Jose!”

SHE'S NOT AVAILABLE

But let’s move on. When Monica told you that she could never again love a man like she loved Tom, it meant she is not available. That’s what you’re telling me here, Delmar, and more importantly, that’s what Monica was telling you. Monica has the hots for a man who broke her heart. You know what “The System” says about that, right? No ex-boyfriends or ex-husbands lurking in the background. When Monica tells you that Tom is imprinted on her brain and that she can’t forget about him even after she lay on a shrink’s couch for years, that sure sounds like lurking to me. In fact, that’s more than lurking in the background -- Tom is right there in the room with you and Monica! It means that she’s going to be in love with Tom for the rest of her life and that you don’t stand a chance. But at least Monica was being honest. She was right up-front with you and told you that she’s really not on the market.

My friend, you don’t know anything about Monica’s family because you haven’t even met them. Again, you’re jumping to conclusions. And just because she got straight A's at Princeton doesn’t mean she can’t be a nutcase when it comes to romantic love. Remember that Joran van der Sloot went to college, came from a good family and that his father was a top judge in Aruba. What does that tell you?

When you say you were just getting to know each other casually, you’re rationalizing. A romantic relationship “of sorts” means that it’s not a romantic relationship at all. You might have thought there was a strong attraction between you and Monica, but there was a stronger attraction between her and Tom -- which means you’re No. 2, man. Why would you want to be No. 2 to anybody?

SHE'S NOT INTO YOU

Yet, in the face of all this stuff, you still want to marry this girl who’s carrying a torch for someone else. I can definitely tell you haven’t read my book, because if you had, you wouldn’t be making a blunder this huge! And I have news for you, Delmar: You are desperate -- because Monica digs somebody else. And if she wants to marry you, then she’s even nuttier than you are. That’s obvious because she’s in love with someone else and keeps going out with you.

If Tom ever got divorced, you’d better watch out, because Monica would dump you for him in a heartbeat. Tom is No. 1, not you, guy. Do you really want to always live in his shadow?

Where do you go from here? You have to get “The System,” memorize it and forget this girl. She’s a complete waste of time. No, you didn’t handle this thing right -- you handled it horribly. Of course you should have run in the other direction when she told you about Tom, but you didn’t. And like my cousin Rabbi Love says: “She’s not a keeper at all -- she’s already kept by another guy.”

Remember, guys: For a girl to fall in love with you, she has to be available.

To hear my LOVE RADIO SHOW, send me your love questions or to find out more about “The System,” visit me at www.doclove.com or call (800) 404-2644. For the past 30 years, Doc Love has asked thousands of women: “Why do you stay with one man versus another?”