Did these parents over-punish their teen?

A mom on our forum is seeking advice: I really need some perspective here. We have a 13-year-old son who is generally a really good kid--star forward on his soccer team, 3.6 gpa. He and my husband have been in a bit of a power struggle ever since he (my son) hit puberty. I am definitely the "softy" parent. Last month my son told a lie about using his computer during the day when he'd been told not to. He has lied in the past but always little things, such as finding cash around the house and pocketing it instead of leaving it alone. My husband's punishment for the lie was no computer for 2 months and no texting for 4 months. We live in a very isolated area, and my son's texting has been his lifeline to his friends when he's not at school. I went along with the punishment because I felt I was being forced to choose between my husband and my son, and I wanted to put up a united parenting front--but now I am wracked with guilt that the punishment was way too extreme. Please help me know whether I did the right thing, and what a more appropriate response could have been.

Denise's thoughts: I think what your husband chose to take away from him was good, but the timing is long. The thing about punishment when it's too long, it loses it's effectiveness as a deterrent from bad behavior and becomes a catalyst of bad feelings within the family instead. The feelings of guilt you're having, for instance.

I have some resources for discipline, but I want to point out that power struggles never lead to good things. Maybe when your teen is out you and your husband can talk about how to handle disciplining your teen before there is a problem and it becomes emotional and escalates. As for what you do now with your teen, I think you should fall back and regroup.

1 in 5 Teens Are Hyper-texters

A study conducted by APHA found that 1 in 5 teens are hyper-texters, which means they text more than 120 times a day. Think about it, if each text takes 1 to 2 minutes of time, that is two to four full hours of time out of their day just texting. I think we can all agree that there are better things our teens can be doing with their time.

The study was conducted in 20 public high schools in the Cleveland area last year, and is based on confidential paper surveys of more than 4,200 students. And what is being reported around the net about this study that is considered shocking?!? It's that these hyper-texting teens are more apt to have had sex or used alcohol and drugs. Really? I don't find it shocking that teens who text for 2 to 4 hours a day may not have enough parental supervision to keep them off drugs and making smarter choices about sex. (If you are worried, learn how to talk to your teen about tough issues here.) Even the study's lead author, Dr Scott Frank associate professor of epidemiology and biostatistics at Case Western Reserve University School of Medicine, said, "If parents are monitoring their kids' texting and social networking, they're probably monitoring other activities as well." That's it in a nutshell, isn't it?

Happiness for All

Happiness: Happiness is a wonderful emotion. Happiness is a soul, dancing with joy. When you feel happy, you achieve more. Here are some wise words about happiness.

There are people who sometimes experience a "low" for no reason whatsoever. I can buy that, provided we promise ourselves to get happy for no reason too. Here are some quotations that I would describe as "happy quotes."

Maya Angelou

A bird doesn't sing because it has an answer, it sings because it has a song.

William Arthur Ward

A cloudy day is no match for a sunny disposition.

Charlie Chaplin

A day without laughter is a day wasted.

Hugh Downs

A happy person is not a person in a certain set of circumstances, but rather a person with a certain set of attitudes.

Mother Teresa

A joyful heart is the inevitable result of a heart burning with love.

Washington Irving

A kind heart is a fountain of gladness, making everything in its vicinity freshen into smiles.

Victor Borge

A laugh is the shortest distance between two people.

William Shakespeare

A light heart lives long.

Alexander Solzhenitsyn

A man is happy so long as he chooses to be happy.

Unknown Author

A smile is a curved line that sets things straight.

Sexting:Teens Putting Sex and Texting Together

Sexting is:

Sexting is creating pictures or videos of sexual acts or nudity and texting it over cell phones. One resource I read called it 'the intersection of promiscuity and technology.' This is happening with and without a teen’s permission. A survey released in December by the National Campaign to Prevent Teen and Unplanned Pregnancy said about a third of teenage boys and a quarter of teen girls say they've seen nude or semi-nude images that were meant originally to be private.

Sexting is a crime, but:

At this point, authorities are trying to figure out what crime to charge teens with when caught up in a sexting situation. The crime itself, if committed by an adult, would be child pornography. That is a federal offense that doesn’t really cover the issue here.

Police Man Arrested Teens For Having Sex

The police man arrested the teens for having sex.

The police man is very strict and he is using strict words.

A police officer has been suspended for staging a fake arrest of a 15-year-old boy after discovering the teenager was having sex with his stepdaughter.

Meet Spider Man

Suicide warning signs in teenagers

An alarming and increasing number of teenagers attempt and succeed at suicide. According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC), suicide is the third leading cause of death for 15 to 24-year-olds. For the overwhelming majority of suicidal teens, depression or another psychological disorder plays a primary role. In depressed teens who also abuse alcohol or drugs, the risk of suicide is even greater.

Because of the very real danger of suicide, teenagers who are depressed should be watched closely for any signs of suicidal thoughts or behavior. The warning signs include:

1: Talking or joking about committing suicide.
2: Saying things like, “I’d be better off dead,” “I wish I could disappear forever,” or “There’s no way out.”
3: Speaking positively about death or romanticizing dying (“If I died, people might love me more”).
4: Writing stories and poems about death, dying, or suicide.
5: Engaging in reckless behavior or having a lot of accidents resulting in injury.
6: Giving away prized possessions.
7: Saying goodbye to friends and family as if for good.
8: Seeking out weapons, pills, or other ways to kill themselves.

Signs and Symptoms of Teens Depression

Teenagers face a host of pressures, from the changes of puberty to questions about who they are and where they fit in. The natural transition from child to adult can also bring parental conflict as teens start to assert their independence.

 With all this drama, it isn’t always easy to differentiate between depression and normal teenage moodiness. Making things even more complicated, teens with depression do not necessarily appear sad, nor do they always withdraw from others. For some depressed teens, symptoms of irritability, aggression, and rage are more prominent.

Under Standing of Teens Depression

Here are as many misconceptions about teen depression as there are about teenagers in general. Yes, the teen years are tough, but most teens balance the requisite angst with good friendships, success in school or outside activities, and the development of a strong sense of self.

Occasional bad moods or acting out is to be expected, but depression is something different. Depression can destroy the very essence of a teenager’s personality, causing an overwhelming sense of sadness, despair, or anger.

Whether the incidence of teen depression is actually increasing, or we’re just becoming more aware of it, the fact is that depression strikes teenagers far more often than most people think. And although depression is highly treatable, experts say only 20% of depressed teens ever receive help.
Unlike adults, who have the ability to seek assistance on their own, teenagers usually must rely on parents, teachers, or other caregivers to recognize their suffering and get them the treatment they need. So if you have an adolescent in your life, it’s important to learn what teen depression looks like and what to do if you spot the warning signs.