Wednesday 9 February 2011
Teens' Problemz: How Much Privacy Should Dating Teens Have
Teens' Problemz: How Much Privacy Should Dating Teens Have: "You know trouble can happen when you leave teens who are dating alone, but you want to trust them a little, right? How much privacy should t..."
How Much Privacy Should Dating Teens Have
You know trouble can happen when you leave teens who are dating alone, but you want to trust them a little, right? How much privacy should teens have when they are dating? How much privacy should your teen have when they are at your home with a date? Read what our parenting community has had to say.
Comments
Our middle and high schools reflect a scary story, nation wide that something is amiss. Our tv reality shows now reflect teen pregnancy as an intertainment show ! Humm , what is wrong with this picture? Obviously, we parents “may” need to rethink how we feel about “Teen Privacy” because something is awful wrong going on.
Teen Dating Should Be Social
I believe teen dating should a social activity. In our house, visiting with friends has always been with doors open. At this age, teens need more practice on social interaction than sexual action. I explained it to my teens that the sexual aspect of any long-tern relationship constitutes a very, very small percentage of what those relationships are made of. It's all the other times and activities that really count to keep two people committed to each other. To that end, if an activity can't be done in public, then it shouldn't be done. Now, that doesn't mean teens shouldn't have some privacy. I offer that privacy by keeping out of hearing distance, out of sight when they are in a public venue, and only asking general questions about their times together.
No Privacy, All in the open
If you allow dating teens privacy, the devil may make them commit sin. So they should be where all eyes will see them always.
I think it's based on trust.
I think it depends on how much you trust your teen to control themselves. Now, I don't believe in leaving them alone for hours and their is no cuddling on the couch, but I feel we can leave my son alone with his girlfriend for a period of time. We are in the house and able to walk in at any time and we do!
None... or close to it!
I don't think teens NEED privacy - or not much! Really the more they get the more they will take advantage of it. A few minutes to say goodbye on the porch, they can play a card game in the kitchen, with people walking in and out, etc. No need for make out sessions on the family room couch.
Close to the Main Part of the Home
I agree with much that has been stated before me. I think semi-private in family areas, but never bedrooms or rooms that are off and away from the general run of the house. Too much alone time can lead to so. much. trouble. (speaking from experience.)
Don't Drive Them Away
I think any room is okay as long as the door stays open. You don't want to drive them to going "parking." That can be too dangerous. One of my friend's daughters was parking with her boyfriend and was robbed at gunpoint. Thankfully, they weren't hurt.
Some, Not a Lot
It's a balance, isn't it? Because I'd rather have them at my house so I can keep an eye on them, but certainly I don't want them in my child's bedroom with the door closed. I think I'd be comfortable leaving them alone in a public space (family room, living room, kitchen, etc) but not a bedroom.
Teens privacy
Ahhh, so much potential trouble! I think we should go back to arranged marriages. Or no dating without chaperones till they're 30. No? Sigh. OK, I've always favored quasi-privacy -- they're hanging out in the family room or the kitchen, I'm a room or two away. Or if I have to go out or be at work, well, pesky little siblings can be very good at de-romanticizing the setting
Stay Out of Their Way, But Don't Go Away
I think it's a balance. You want to give them privacy but not too much. Also you want to get to know your teens date. So let them study or hang out together without you around, but then have everyone sit down together for dinner.
Family Room - Yes, Bedroom - No
I think allowing them some privacy in the living room or family room is appropriate but not for hours at a time.
Comments
Our middle and high schools reflect a scary story, nation wide that something is amiss. Our tv reality shows now reflect teen pregnancy as an intertainment show ! Humm , what is wrong with this picture? Obviously, we parents “may” need to rethink how we feel about “Teen Privacy” because something is awful wrong going on.
Teen Dating Should Be Social
I believe teen dating should a social activity. In our house, visiting with friends has always been with doors open. At this age, teens need more practice on social interaction than sexual action. I explained it to my teens that the sexual aspect of any long-tern relationship constitutes a very, very small percentage of what those relationships are made of. It's all the other times and activities that really count to keep two people committed to each other. To that end, if an activity can't be done in public, then it shouldn't be done. Now, that doesn't mean teens shouldn't have some privacy. I offer that privacy by keeping out of hearing distance, out of sight when they are in a public venue, and only asking general questions about their times together.
No Privacy, All in the open
If you allow dating teens privacy, the devil may make them commit sin. So they should be where all eyes will see them always.
I think it's based on trust.
I think it depends on how much you trust your teen to control themselves. Now, I don't believe in leaving them alone for hours and their is no cuddling on the couch, but I feel we can leave my son alone with his girlfriend for a period of time. We are in the house and able to walk in at any time and we do!
 |
| How Much Privacy Should Dating Teens Have |
None... or close to it!
I don't think teens NEED privacy - or not much! Really the more they get the more they will take advantage of it. A few minutes to say goodbye on the porch, they can play a card game in the kitchen, with people walking in and out, etc. No need for make out sessions on the family room couch.
Close to the Main Part of the Home
I agree with much that has been stated before me. I think semi-private in family areas, but never bedrooms or rooms that are off and away from the general run of the house. Too much alone time can lead to so. much. trouble. (speaking from experience.)
Don't Drive Them Away
I think any room is okay as long as the door stays open. You don't want to drive them to going "parking." That can be too dangerous. One of my friend's daughters was parking with her boyfriend and was robbed at gunpoint. Thankfully, they weren't hurt.
 |
| How Much Privacy Should Dating Teens Have |
Some, Not a Lot
It's a balance, isn't it? Because I'd rather have them at my house so I can keep an eye on them, but certainly I don't want them in my child's bedroom with the door closed. I think I'd be comfortable leaving them alone in a public space (family room, living room, kitchen, etc) but not a bedroom.
Teens privacy
Ahhh, so much potential trouble! I think we should go back to arranged marriages. Or no dating without chaperones till they're 30. No? Sigh. OK, I've always favored quasi-privacy -- they're hanging out in the family room or the kitchen, I'm a room or two away. Or if I have to go out or be at work, well, pesky little siblings can be very good at de-romanticizing the setting
Stay Out of Their Way, But Don't Go Away
I think it's a balance. You want to give them privacy but not too much. Also you want to get to know your teens date. So let them study or hang out together without you around, but then have everyone sit down together for dinner.
Family Room - Yes, Bedroom - No
I think allowing them some privacy in the living room or family room is appropriate but not for hours at a time.
 |
| How Much Privacy Should Dating Teens Have |
Saturday 5 February 2011
Having Fun with the Kids on Valentine's Day
I hate to show my bias, but I really like Valentine's Day. I love taking the extra effort to help my wife know how much I love her, and this is a great day for just spoiling her beyond belief. But as I have come to learn over the years, it is also a great opportunity to share the spirit and feelings of Valentine's Day with my children. So, what can a dad do to have a great time with his children with this otherwise romantic holiday?
Spoil Your Daughters. A number of years ago, I decided I needed to make a little extra effort for my girls so they would come to appreciate Valentine's Day. I know I set a bit of a high standard for their future boyfriends and husbands, but part of that is intentional on my part. Consider buying them a single rose in a little bud vase, or leaving them some conversation hearts or another Valentine treat where they can find it.
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| Having Fun with the Kids on Valentine's Day |
Help The Kids Take Care of Mom. As dads know, Valentine's Day is pretty important to the women in our life. Taking some time ahead of the big day to help the kids think about how to recognize their mom will go a long way toward making their day special too. Whether or not you are still with their mom, helping them focus on her will be a real positive for them.
Host a Party. Consider helping the kids plan and host a Valentine's Day party on or around February 14. Help them decide whom to invite, prepare invitations, decide on some games and get some treats together.
Have a Heart Attack. One of my favorite Valentine's Day activities is called a heart attack. You and the kids pick someone who needs to know they are loved—maybe a friend, a relative, or one of the kids' friends-- and then you plan out the attack. Help the kids cut out lots of red construction paper hearts and glue them onto wooden skewers. Then, in the dark of night, stick them in the front yard of the person who is the subject of the attack. (If they don't have a front yard, use masking tape to tape them to the front door.) The kids will appreciate the opportunity to do a secret project for someone else and the attackee will have a much better Valentine's Day knowing they were remembered.
Tell Them Why You Love Them. Kids will appreciate a little note from you that reminds them why you love them. Write about their best qualities and the things you appreciate about their personalities and their characters.
Remember Them at School. While each child may feel differently about a school thing, they will appreciate the surprise during the day. For elementary school children, a treat or a surprise in their backpack might be a good approach. For high school or middle school kids, something in their locker would be a good idea.
Encourage Creativity. Each child is different in their creative sides. Some may be writers; others may be artists; still others may be good with music. Valentine's Day is a good time to magnify their talents. A family talent show demonstrating their skills, and thus giving of themselves to other family members can be a good Valentine's Day gift.
Have Fun with Conversation Hearts. You know those little sugary candy hearts with words on them? Pull some out of the bag and make some fun sentences. See how creative you can be with them. Maybe pick the name of some friend and build some funny descriptions of them (good natured of course).
Have a Game Night. Instead of a big party with lots of friends, you might want instead to have a quieter night at home playing some board games together. Pick up some the kids' favorite munchies and spend the evening together.
Watch Some Old Family Videos. One of our favorite activities is to watch videos from our children's younger days. We have some great home movies of school programs, birthdays, soccer games and other events. The kids remember the fun times and they often laugh a little at each other's antics. The younger kids will especially like seeing the older ones as little tykes. Sharing memories like these will help build some new memories together.
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