How to Adjust to Life as a Single Father

Is there a more challenging transition for a man than to become a new single dad with children at home? If there is, I can't imagine it. Whether you lose your spouse and the mother of your kids to death or because of a divorce and/or abandonment, adjusting to the new reality of things is a major and life changing task.

Most newly single dads I know struggle to know where to start. What should be first on my list, and how do I even begin tor get my arms around the rest? Having talked to a number of single dads who have successfully negotiated this transition with their children, let me offer the following recommendations.

New-Year-Resolution

For the coming New Year, resolve to talk more often with your family about healthy decisions and choices. Our research shows that kids who learn a lot about the dangers of drugs from their parents are up to 50 percent less likely to use than those who do not get those important messages at home.

Easy Way Of Improving Strength And Fitness

Using free weights is effective way of improving strength and fitness. Lifting weights improves fitness while it burns calories, increase muscle size, strength, power, and endurance, and increases bone density. It also increases bone density and improves quality of life for many older adults. Instruction is necessary if you have never used free weights before, or are not that familiar with the use of free weights. Technique, and safety are important considerations.

Unlike weight machines, free weights don’t restrict movement. This is great for building strength, but it also increases the risk of injury. Safety precautions include having a good grip, maintain a stable position sitting or standing, use good technique or form, and getting good instruction from an exercise professional. Most accidents occur by falling weights that are not secure or fall out of a person’s hand, so pay particular attention to picking up and replacing free weights.

Buying Free Weights

Durability – Consider your exercise motivation for the quality and durability of the weights you are purchasing. If you plan to use the weights a lot, buy a high quality and durable product. Generally speaking, free weights are rather durable.

Assembly – Consider the time and convenience of buying weights that are set at a specific weight, or to purchase weights that can be changed according to your strength. For a set weight of dumbbells, no assembly is required.

Storage – Ensure you have adequate space to safely store the weights, depending on how many or how much weight you are going to purchase. Free weights can be stored on the floor, or on specialized racks.

Maintenance – Consider the maintenance requirements. Chrome weights require higher maintenance than metal, concrete, or foam-covered weights.

Using Free Weights

Free weights can develop muscle-fitness depending on how you use them.

Muscle Strength: 5-8 reps, 1-3 sets.

Muscle Endurance: 15-20 reps, 1-3 sets.

Muscle Power: 3-5 reps, 1-3 sets.

Rep is short for repetition. This means how many times you lift the weight. Set means a group of repetitions. Rest approximately one to two minutes between sets of each exercise, or long enough to catch your breath.

Muscle Groups to Train

Exercising the major muscle groups is important for developing fitness.

Upper body: front and back of arms, shoulders, chest, and upper back.

Torso: abdominals, sides of torso (obliques), and lower back.

Legs: front and back of thighs, calfs, and buttocks.

Exercises to Do

Upper body: Bicep curls, tricep extension, shoulder press, bench press, and bent-over row.

Torso: Abdominal curls (hands across chest), “Bird-Dog” (on hands and knees, lift opposite arm and leg 5 – 10 reps, then opposite arm/leg), and side-plank.

Legs: Squats or Lunges, and heel raises.

Technique is important!

Learn the proper technique for each exercise before proceeding.

Exercise both sides of the body. Whatever you exercise on the front of the body, proceed with the corresponding exercise for the back of the body.

Breathe! Exhale when the exercise is the hardest, and inhale when the exercise is the easiest.

Move your joints through a full range of motion when performing each exercise.

Move in a controlled manner. Do not let momentum move the weight.

Posture

Maintain a straight spine when performing all exercises.

Do not hyper-extend your spine.

When picking weights up from the floor (or putting them down), use your legs, not your back.

Using a spotter

When lifting very heavy weights, you should use a spotter in case the weights become too much for you to handle. A spotter can offer feedback about your technique, and give you a margin of safety to avoid injury.

Important Points to Remember

Before you buy: Consider the space you have in which to safely engage in a weight training program.

When you buy: Consider your exercise motivation in terms of the cost of the weights. Also consider the size of the handles as they fit in your hand.

Excellent for fitness: Using free weights is an excellent way to improve your fitness. You can increase the rate at which you burn calories, increase your muscle strength and size, and increase the strength of your bones. Increased strength through weight training can also improve the quality of life for older adults.

Your abilities: Consider your level of fitness before you purchase your weights. Be careful not to buy weights that are too heavy (or too light).

Make it a habit: Since you are considering buying exercise equipment, structure your lifestyle to make time to exercise and it will eventually become a life-long habit.

6 Sure Ways to Have Healthy and Beautiful Hair

The easiest—and perhaps most affordable—way to change up your appearance this season is with a new hair style, cut, or color. We enlisted celebrity stylist Tracey Cunningham to weigh in on the latest and greatest looks for fall, how to achieve them at home, and which celeb photos you should bring with you to a salon.

Ombré hair color
Drew Barrymore’s multi-toned hair color (at left), as created by Tracy, is the go-to style of the season, and many celebs are going after the same look that gradually fades from darker roots to lighter ends in the same color family. "When I do Drew’s hair this warms up her face a little bit without really changing her hair color."

At the salon
"Do not ask somebody to highlight you and stop two inches from the root," says Cunningham. "That’s ridiculous and it’s a waste of money. Get your hair highlighted to the root. When it’s over, have them put a semi-permanent hair color on top, avoiding the hairline."

At home
This is a great fall style, since your summer highlights will already be growing out. Choose a dye that looks like your natural hair color and dye only the top part of your hair. Cunningham says to be very careful when rinsing out to lift up your ends so the dark dye won’t transfer. "That’s a really important tip, because there’s no refreshing the blond.”

Bangs
"It only takes one picture of a celebrity looking really gorgeous with bangs and then everybody wants them again," says Cunningham. “If you’re going to get bangs, get bangs. Don’t get that wispy little bang to the side, because you’ll just end up hating that. They’re never great."

At the salon
You'll definitely want to have a stylist cut your new bangs, and since there are so many kinds it’s crucial to bring in pictures of the style you want. Cunningham suggests a heavier, longer bang that can go to the side, or split in the middle. Think Katy Perry (at right) or Zooey Deschanel. Sure they’re a commitment, but they’ll dramatically change up your look.

At home
Cunningham feels cutting your own bangs is a mistake, but says trimming them at home once they've initially been cut by a professional can be easy. "One trick I have is taking the hair and pulling it all together and just snipping it off." That said, most salons offer bang trims for free, so be sure to take them up on that.

"Natural" waves
Soft curls are all the rage on the red carpet right now, and are fun to create on all hair types. They're also a fairly simple way to change up your look, day or night.

At the salon
Bring in a photo of your favorite celeb 'do, and remind your stylist to start the curl lower down—we’re not going for the '80s perm effect anymore. Don’t be shy to speak up about your likes and dislikes.

At home
To get a beautiful style like Kate Beckinsale’s (at left) at home, Cunningham suggests starting with clean, damp hair. Mist with a strong hair spray like Redken’s Wool Shake, and blow dry. Next use a 1" barrel curling iron (nothing wider, or the curl will be too loose), and coat your hair with more hairspray for extra staying power. Those with fine hair will need to go heavier on the product. Not so skillful with an iron? Set your hair with hot rollers!

Red hair
Thanks to stunning stars like Christina Hendricks, everyone wants to be a redhead, and luckily, many people can pull off the hue. "There are shades that work with different skin tones," says Cunningham, who insists "you don’t have to be red-red to feel a difference. You can do a burnt auburn on dark hair...and if your natural color is ashy and you warm it up it just makes you feel so much better."

At the salon
"When they say a picture is worth a thousand words, it could be more," says Cunningham, who feels you should never walk into a salon without a photo. "If I say, 'I want to be auburn,' and you say, 'oh great! My grandma is auburn, I love that color!' But we might be thinking of two different colors." No offense to Grandma, but her lovely shade might be a far cry from Emma Stone's, as seen here. As for color maintenance, a little bit of exposed root growth is considered cool right now. If roots drive you crazy, you may need to visit every few weeks.

At home
Cunningham says you can absolutely score the perfect red on your own. Deborah Ann Woll of "True Blood" recently admitted her color comes courtesy of L'Oreal Excellence Hair Color in Strawberry Blonde 9RB. “When you’re looking at a red box, go for the box that looks like a natural hair color," says Cunningham. "Stay away from the purple-maroon colors. They don’t look good on our skin, and they don’t look natural." Unfortunately, red dye fades the fastest, but you can keep your color fresh with hair care products for color-treated or a shampoo that contains actual red pigment.

Long layers
Layering isn’t just for your fall wardrobe! Chopping it up can add volume and movement. Though Cunningham cautions that layers look best on people with long hair like Vanessa Hudgens (at left). "Not everyone can rock a Joan Jett look."

At the salon
Tell your stylist how long or short you’d like your layers to be, and don’t spring this on your stylist after they color your hair. "Definitely get your layers cut first, and then get the highlights last" advises Cunningham. "Usually you would do color first, but here you want to see where the color will fall."

At home
If you can’t afford a trip to a salon, Cunningham says to skip a style that involves more training to achieve. "If I were at home and I didn’t have a lot of money, I would just keep my hair all one length, and add some wispy little pieces in the front. I think that’s ultimately the prettiest look."

Sleek and straight
Those with wavy, curly, or kinky hair may seek to straighten their locks for a more polished look. And let’s face it—silky, shiny hair never goes out of style.

At the salon
Thanks to straight styles like Beyonce's (at right), the Brazilian Keratin treatment has increased in popularity. It’s only semi permanent and it makes things easier for you at home if you don’t have the motor skills for a good blow out. But Cunningham wonders about its safety. "I’ve done it twice, but my eyes water. So I’ve been doing a lot of investigating. When your eyes water, it’s a sign of formaldehyde. Last week the European Union recalled a lot of those products because they were over the legal limit [of formaldehyde concentration]." When it comes to more permanent and expensive treatments like Japanese straightening and Thermal Reconditioning, you can expect great results but frequent touch ups. "Your hair grows in curly or wavy, but the ends are dead straight," she says. Bottom line: if you’re just going for a quick fix, get a blow out.

At home
Smoothing shampoos will get your hair slicker, and straightening products can prep your hair for heat. For a sleek look, blow dry using a large round brush, and once hair is totally dry, go over them with hot tools. "It’s so hard to get a good finish on your hair, but if you use a curling iron or a flat iron it will make your hair look shinier," says Cunningham. She feels investing in ceramic irons makes a huge difference as will using Moroccan Oil products, which work on all hair types.

Teach the +ve Values to Your Teens

We seem to be too worried about 'the rules' and enforcing them, that as parents we aren't looking at the big picture of our children's lives. It's in the big picture where positive values and morals are seen. It's not whether your teen got an 'A' on his science project, it's if he values what an education is going to do for him. Which is a catch-22, because if he values the education, he'll strive for the 'A'. Learn why it's important to teach values with this article.

Comments:

We seem to be too worried about 'the rules' and enforcing them, that as parents we aren't looking at the big picture of our children's lives. It's in the big picture where positive values and morals are seen. It's not whether your teen got an 'A' on his science project, it's if he values what an education is going to do for him. Which is a catch-22, because if he values the education, he'll strive for the 'A'. Learn why it's important to teach values with this article.